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Nouthetic parenting is the training of a child’s personality and behavior by influencing the child’s mind (Greek, nous) with the use of scripture. I have noted that scriptural admonition is needed in a child’s heart and in a child’s hands (actions). In the previous article, citing the scriptural teaching about a child’s actions, we studied that a child must be trained by the word of God to have self-control. We turn now to the biblical admonishment of children to respect people and property.
Life in America is becoming an experience in fear. There is only a very fine line between violence or manslaughter and children who are filled with hate and anger. I am shocked at the disrespect adults receive from children. I am shocked at the fighting and yelling among children. Nowadays it is common to see children shouting at their parents and hitting them as well. It is commonplace for teachers to be afraid physically. Police are derided and the President is despised. Pastors are ridiculed and the elderly are forgotten. Have you not observed the same? Christian parents must teach their children to treat fellow humans with dignity and respect.
Oliver Wendall Holmes stated, “I see no reason for attributing to man a significance in kind different from that which belongs to a baboon or a grain of sand”. In stark contrast, the bible is specific in assessing an exceedingly great value to the human race: the elderly are to be respected (Lev 19:32); a father’s friend is not to be forsaken (Pr 27:10); women are to be treated with purity (I Tim 5:1-2); parents are to be honored (Eph 6:2); employers are to be obeyed (Col 3:22); submission must be given to those in authority (Ro 13:1-8); even criminals are to have a fair trial (Dt 17:6). Disrespect to a human is far more serious than the ruin of a relationship or the breakdown of a society; it is an offence against God. Parents must teach their children to be respectful because humans have a worth that is derived from being created in the image of God. “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them” (Gen 1:27). Children must learn that an improper assault against a human is an assault against the life of God himself (Gen 9:6).
If someone enlarges a picture of another for use as a dartboard, is there any doubt what he thinks of that person? Even so, when a human life is the target of vile words and deeds there is no question what one thinks of the other’s life. Being created in the image of God is what elevates human worth above every creature. In the fall sin stained humanity, but though man is no longer pure, he is still human. Indeed we must identify sin in humans, but we must not have a sinful view of human worth. God the Father in general blessing sends rain and sunshine upon the just and unjust. When a child is disrespectful, human life is cheapened, and a child’s whole realization and concept of the creation of God is conspicuously lacking. Of course we do not overlook sins humans commit, but in following proper channels confronting someone’s sin or requiring punishment for sins, common respect and decency must be shown.
In obeying a stated law of God we must obey the law’s opposite. For instance, if God commands us to be good stewards of our money, it is inherently stated that we ought not to waste money. Even so the prohibition against anything that is potentially murderous implicitly involves a positive mandate to always be decent and respectful (Mt 5:20-22). This command is far reaching. Just as anger is murder in thought and therefore forbidden so even our thoughts of others are required to be respectful (Ps 19:14). Parents must teach their children to be respectful to humans, though children are to reject the sin that those same humans may commit.
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America has also become a society where disrespect for property is common. I am shocked at children bashing, smashing, and trashing theirs, their parents’, and others’ property. Life viewed as a mistake between birth and death has no significance and therefore possessions are often misused, wasted, or broken. Selfish dissatisfied people hedonistically seek immediate personal gratification at the expense of anything. On the contrary the Lord owns everything and it was created for His glory (Rev 4:11). The Apostle Paul quotes Psalm 24:1 “For the earth is the Lord's, and the fullness thereof” (1 Cor. 10:26). God created everything and He declares that everything under the whole heaven belongs to Him (Job 41:11). This means that we are all just stewards (managers) of the things God has given us. Nothing is our own. The use and respect of property reveals one’s understanding of God and His creation. Those who do not bring God glory in the use of possessions are termed wicked and slothful (Mt 25:26-30).
The house or apartment we live in is God’s. The trees we trim and the grass we mow are God’s. The flowers in our garden are His property. God owns the cars or trucks we drive. All the clothes in our closets belong to God. The food in our refrigerator and pantry belongs to God. The tables we eat at, the chairs we sit in, and the beds we sleep in are all God’s. God also possesses all the money in our bank and wallets, “The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, saith the Lord of hosts” (Haggai 2:8). Our pets and animals are His, “I have made the earth, the man and the beast that are upon the ground, by my great power and by my outstretched arm, and have given it unto whom it seemed meet unto me” (Jer 27:5). We do not own anything, it is all God’s, and we are but His managers.
The eighth commandment deals directly with the respect of property (Ex 20:15), and lengthy instructions are given concerning the proper use of possessions (Ex 22:1-14). Parents, your children must not only be taught this biblical view of your possessions, but also of their own possessions. Their toys are God’s toys, they should enjoy them but not violently destroy them. Children’s Sunday and everyday clothes are owned by God, He would have them worn for their proper use. Children’s books are actually God’s books, they must be taught that it is not proper to tear and deface them. Their food is from God, it is not to be smeared and splattered. So it goes, windows are not for breaking, doors for slamming, nor carpet for soiling. Because all we have is on loan to us from God, care must be taken to use it in a way that shows respect unto Him.
Children sometimes conclude they are insignificant. This is not so, God has imparted to them the great responsibility of caring for people and possessions. As you continually teach this fact from scripture and require them to fulfill it children should learn the discipline and joy of being God’s stewards. Teach them, however, that in all of God’s requirements obedience pleasing to God can only be experienced by relationship and fellowship with Him. Children like adults are prone to disrespect people and property, so just like adults children must repent and go to the Lord to confess their sin of selfishness. “This is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous” (I Jo 5:3). A proper desire for obedience is fostered in a child to whom God gives the personal knowledge that Christ died for his sins. Those who are overwhelmed by God’s grace and mercy have an ongoing supply of strength to treat people and possessions respectfully. Parents, as you teach your children biblical truth and require their obedience, pray that the Lord will work a work in their hearts. Pray that He will touch them. We are all dependent upon a sovereign God’s bestowal of divine unmerited favor upon entirely undeserving recipients.
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